Never stop learning about your spouse. 31 years in, it’s how we keep loving each other instead of growing apart.
This is our first full episode of year two. Looking back over a year of conversations, we realized how much we learned about each other, from money pressure one of us never said out loud to a fight we chose not to have on a stressful travel day. Then we walk through the seasons that change every marriage, because every season hands you a slightly different partner.
We talk openly about:
- Why you never stop learning about your spouse, even decades in
- How marriage changes over time when you live it day to day
- Why holding on to the person you married can stall your marriage
- The hidden pressure of being a sole provider
- The hidden pressure of being a stay-at-home parent
- How having kids reveals your spouse's character
- What marriage can look like after the kids leave home
We also share:
- How to pause an argument and come back to it at a better time
- What to say when you don’t understand what your spouse is going through
- How to drop the “should” and decide what your marriage actually values
- How to keep loving your spouse as they change
If you are in the busy, stressful early years of marriage and wondering whether it gets easier, this conversation shows you what the other side can look like.
Questions we answer in this episode:
- How does marriage change over time
- Do you ever stop learning new things about your spouse
- How do I keep loving my spouse when they have changed
- How do I support my spouse when I don’t understand what they are going through
- Does marriage get better after the kids leave home
Mentioned in this episode:
Voicemails for Isabelle, directed by Leah McKendrick (Netflix)
Chapters
0:00 Welcome to Penned in Ink
0:28 Why you never stop learning about your spouse
3:11 What a long-term marriage looks like day to day
6:06 Why holding on to who you married won’t last
9:10 The hidden pressures of sole earners and stay-at-home parents
14:13 Why “should” is the wrong word for your marriage
15:45 How our communication changed over 30 years
19:53 Pausing an argument and revisiting it at a better time
24:05 What to say when you don’t understand your spouse
26:15 How a family health crisis changed our marriage
32:04 What dating and engagement reveal about commitment
36:34 What having kids reveals about your spouse
40:22 Why our marriage got better after the kids left
46:19 Practicing gratitude together
48:49 Sharing our worries to help each other
50:38 What we are looking forward to
51:33 In our next episode
Watch this episode
We film every conversation, so if you would rather see it than hear it, the full video is on YouTube.
Join the Penned in Ink community for free digital guides and occasional updates to help you build your own long-lasting love.
Connect with Us on Instagram
Hi, we are Michael and Melissa Penwell. We are here to share stories of lasting love, real marriage, and the art of commitment. Each episode explores the true work, laughter, and growth that come with a long-term relationship. We have lived through the pressures most couples face, from balancing work and home to raising kids, managing money, and keeping intimacy alive. We share what 30+ years together has taught us, informed by Melissa’s work as a licensed counselor. Through candid stories and heartfelt conversations, we explore what it means to write your own love story, one chapter at a time.
This is our first full episode of year two. Looking back over a year of conversations, we realized how much we learned about each other, from money pressure one of us never said out loud to a fight we chose not to have on a stressful travel day. Then we walk through the seasons that change every marriage, because every season hands you a slightly different partner.
We talk openly about:
- Why you never stop learning about your spouse, even decades in
- How marriage changes over time when you live it day to day
- Why holding on to the person you married can stall your marriage
- The hidden pressure of being a sole provider
- The hidden pressure of being a stay-at-home parent
- How having kids reveals your spouse's character
- What marriage can look like after the kids leave home
We also share:
- How to pause an argument and come back to it at a better time
- What to say when you don’t understand what your spouse is going through
- How to drop the “should” and decide what your marriage actually values
- How to keep loving your spouse as they change
If you are in the busy, stressful early years of marriage and wondering whether it gets easier, this conversation shows you what the other side can look like.
Questions we answer in this episode:
- How does marriage change over time
- Do you ever stop learning new things about your spouse
- How do I keep loving my spouse when they have changed
- How do I support my spouse when I don’t understand what they are going through
- Does marriage get better after the kids leave home
Mentioned in this episode:
Voicemails for Isabelle, directed by Leah McKendrick (Netflix)
Chapters
0:00 Welcome to Penned in Ink
0:28 Why you never stop learning about your spouse
3:11 What a long-term marriage looks like day to day
6:06 Why holding on to who you married won’t last
9:10 The hidden pressures of sole earners and stay-at-home parents
14:13 Why “should” is the wrong word for your marriage
15:45 How our communication changed over 30 years
19:53 Pausing an argument and revisiting it at a better time
24:05 What to say when you don’t understand your spouse
26:15 How a family health crisis changed our marriage
32:04 What dating and engagement reveal about commitment
36:34 What having kids reveals about your spouse
40:22 Why our marriage got better after the kids left
46:19 Practicing gratitude together
48:49 Sharing our worries to help each other
50:38 What we are looking forward to
51:33 In our next episode
Watch this episode
We film every conversation, so if you would rather see it than hear it, the full video is on YouTube.
Join the Penned in Ink community for free digital guides and occasional updates to help you build your own long-lasting love.
Connect with Us on Instagram
Hi, we are Michael and Melissa Penwell. We are here to share stories of lasting love, real marriage, and the art of commitment. Each episode explores the true work, laughter, and growth that come with a long-term relationship. We have lived through the pressures most couples face, from balancing work and home to raising kids, managing money, and keeping intimacy alive. We share what 30+ years together has taught us, informed by Melissa’s work as a licensed counselor. Through candid stories and heartfelt conversations, we explore what it means to write your own love story, one chapter at a time.
